Knowing that you don't have to think a story up---that you can discover it through the process of writing---can be a ginormous a relief. Yet it also means letting go of the reins. Admitting that you don't have all the answers. Trusting that somewhere deep inside of you, you have the ability to recognize what needs to be written from one moment to the next.
That's TWO things humans don't exactly embrace on the first go around: letting go of control and trust.
The good news is that we can aspire to trust and practice letting go. I like to practice with practice writing, which simply means putting my pen to the page before I add on the pressure of writing The Big Story.
In a world where a lot of people, organizations, and brands tell us what to think, our inner writers get drowned out. We have to practice listening, and sometimes, we have to meet our inner writers for the first time. Here's how:
Imagine a person in your life whose opinion matters. Someone who knows you well but also knows how to push your buttons. He or she wants what's best for you but also thinks she knows what's best for you. What she wants doesn't always fit with what you want.
Write her a letter. In it, express your deepest writing desire. Convince her that it's a good idea to [quit your job and freelance; write a memoir about what it was like to grow up in your crazy family; fill in your dream here.]
(I won't ask you to send it. And if the idea of leaving that dream lying around on paper makes you nervous, you can rip up the paper or delete the file when we're done. For now, imagine that person will really read the letter.)
Now imagine a person in your life who believes you can do no wrong and never judges you. If this is hard to come up with, you're not alone! Pick a fictional character like Mr. Snuffleupagus. Write Snuffy a letter explaining the same dream and all the reasons you want to do it, knowing that he will nod his head, swing his trunk, and say, "Yes! Yes! Great idea!"
Are your letters different? Read them and find out. When I do this, my first letter is a carefully crafted argument. I justify my dream. My second letter is heartfelt. It flows, and it feels true. There's no tone of justification because I don't need to justify it. I simply believe in my dream.
The second letter comes from your inner writer (if you'd like, please name it). Now that you've met yours, your goal is to trust it. We do that by practicing---undertaking writing simply to discover what we think, with no pressure to write well.
Write By Hand
Practice writing is best learned by hand. There's no way to access the Internet so it's easier to write without distraction. There's no delete key. It's harder to edit as you go. And it's a more personal way to write. An intimacy forms between you and your inner writer as you resist the urge to edit and let go of control. Your pen will follow your inner writer's thoughts---the feelings you have before your mind corrects you.
In Writing Down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg calls them first thoughts, "the way the mind first flashes on something. The internal censor usually squelches them, so we live in the realm of second and third thoughts, thoughts on thought, twice and three times removed from the direct connection of the first fresh flash."
I learned to access my first thoughts using two methods:
Morning Pages Just like it sounds, these are three pages of longhand first thing in the morning. Championed by Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way, the idea is to start writing and stop only at the end of three pages. Write whatever comes to mind---your grocery list, the acknowledgment that you don't know what to write about, or some brilliant topic that appears. It's a brain dump, and over time, it leads to writing gold. You stumble on ideas. You see the repetitive nature of your mind and learn to break free from it. You get used to moving your pen across the page so you're warmed up and ready when it's time to write your story.
Freewriting These are timed writing activities on specific topics. They're short---ten minutes---and meant to tap into those First Thoughts. I like these prompts:
I want to write about...
I wish I could write about...
I don't know....
But you can freewrite about anything (you'll find another idea here).
As you gear up to write your story (or if you're not sure what to write about yet), play around with practice writing. Keep your pen moving and get your creative juices flowing. Let your inner writer move the pen. Don't edit. Don't judge. Don't worry about spelling. Just get good and familiar with your inner writer. She'll serve you well as you write your story.